updatin on my old xanga biatches!!

im just extremely bored..so thats why!

i wish i could explain my feelings for you but i can't.
Some part of me is telling me that i shouldn’t like you
while another part is telling me that you're the only one

My heart is on my sleeve ;;
i wear it lke a bruise or blackeye.
My badge, my witness that
means that i believed every
single lie you told me..

10 years ago I was
about to turn 8 years old..wow i feel really old now that i remember when happened 10 years ago!

5 years ago I was
in middle school and i was a weirdo back then lol

1 year ago I was
a junior in high school at my first year of bentonville...which i dropped out of! lol

Yesterday I was
working until 2, then i went to jasas...and spent the night there

5 snacks I enjoy
oreos, goldfish, cheeseits, fruit snacks, and umm pizza but its not a snack!

5 songs I know all the words to
Man I feel like a Woman by Shania Twain, Sugar were goin down by fall out boy, helena by my chemical romance, sophmore slump or comeback of the year by fall out boy, and golddigger by kanye west!

5 things I would do with $100,000,000
i would buy a new house, a new car, a new wardrobe (all designer clothes), give some money to people that i liked lol, and give some to charity (maybe) lol.

5 Favorite T.V. Shows
Laguna Beach, spongebob squarepants, making the band3, tru calling, and lost

5 Bad Habits
trying on a billion shirts and leaving them on my floor, spending all my money at one time, biting my fingernails, cussing too much, and burping lol

5 Biggest Joys
getting presents, seeing someone i havent seen in a long time, talking on the phone, hearing someone say i love you, cuddling on the couch

look at my new xanga bizzitches

| Y | O | U | R | L | O | V | E |
my anti-drug

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says "I love you",
She means it.
When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future.
When a GIRL says "I miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that

Sometimes I wish I had never met you, then I could sleep at night not knowing someone like you was out there...

i love you joel! with all my heart and soul

new xanga

www.xanga.com/x_now_or_never_x

idk if im going to keep it because i like this one, but we'll see!

i love you joely

hey me n kelsy just got back from a movie with adam and zach, we had a pretty good time!  except when i got a call during the middle of it from someone...we wont go into that!  you know what i hate the most? when people lie to your face...your asking them to tell the truth and they dont have the balls to do it!  come on people...seriously get some guts!  what are you afraid of?  whats the worst thing that could happen?  if someones already mad at you..dont you think that the truth couldnt make them that much more angry than they already are?  so just come out and say it for christ sake!!! 

you know what else?  everyone wishes they were as amazing as me!   stop acting like your better than me when you know your not!  your obviously just jealous! and...furthermore the man that i marry is going to be the luckiest man alive!  and he will ACKNOLEDGE THAT!!! and actually understand what an incredible person hes getting!  i dont think many people understand what they have till they lose it!   

i think thats all i have to say for right now, im pretty pissed off and i could just runaway from everything but im not going to do that because im stronger than that shit, and im going to stand up and fight for everything...for what i want and for what i believe is right!  and for everyone whos like "oh my god thats so cliche".......go screw yourselves!  i couldnt careless about what you think!

//EDIT\\ i dont understand guys at all, thats probably because im a girl but anyways...check out the new picture of me and JoEL!~i love you baby

no matter what you do to me, i'm still here ... for some crazy reason i'll stick around through the bad times& the fights .. i'll make up excuses for why you didn't call, why you never cared; i'll keep coming back for more even when you push me away. i think i'm just staying around so that one day when i finally do leave for good, you'll look back & say wow, that girl really did love me.

//edit...again\\  i miss my baby! i wish he would come back sooner! i cant wait until december when i move back to tulsa its gonna be rockin! 

i want to be someone's last call of the night,
        and their first thought in the morning. i want
        those 5 hour conversations that end in "no,
        you hang up first." i want the heart racing,
        palm sweaty, "what's going to happen next"
        moments. i want the hugs that you never
        want to let go of and the stolen kisses that are
        always the sweetest. but most importantly, i
        just want to know someone considers me theirs.

i hate my daily routine:
putting on make up,
wearing uncomfortable clothes,
going out to the world to let
people think what they see is me.
i want to look in the mirror with no
makeup on or cute clothes and hear
someone say they think im beautiful

today me and my grandma went to the funeral for her friend it was very sad, tomorrow me and joel are going to the mall, wednesday is my cousins 17th birthday!! happy birthday kelsy! and thursday im going to take her to bigsplash!! woohoo

i got a call from arvest today for a job i applied for a week ago, i have an interview next week for a receptionist at 10$ an hour!!!!! im hella excited*

peace nuccas